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One Sausage Causes Bowel Cancer, Vegetables Cause Brain and Sperm Shrinkage

by Prashant Rajkhowa on 7.3.09

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one sausage per day bowel cancer vegetables brain shrinkage

That’s what I found after some Internet research. So my gym instructor asked me what I eat for breakfast – one egg, one toast, one sausage, one cup of tea. “Avoid sausages – red meat is bad for you.” Fed up of hearing this stupid maxim over and over, I got googling.

I googled “one sausage health impact” and sure enough the first hit confirmed that one sausage per day increases your risk of bowel cancer by 20%. Thank you World Cancer Research Fund. Now correct me if I’m wrong. Today is Friday – I ate one sausage per day all week – 5 x 20% = 100%. I should be dead. Hell, I should be dead nine times over this year already.

And then it went on to say that a vegetarian is more likely to be obese than non-vegetarians. Seriously, how can this be true? So I googled “overweight vegetarians india” and the results were simply heartwarming. The Times of India reported an Oxford study that said, vegetarians were six times likelier to suffer brain shrinkage than non-vegetarians. Another result reported a Daily Mail article that said, even a modest amount of soya could “significantly” lower your sperm count.

So me and my gym instructor can now rest easy: Either you eat one sausage per day and possibly die by Friday. Or be a healthy vegetarian who will not be overweight but will suffer brain shrinkage and low sperm count.

Here’s a good sendoff then: The World Cancer Research Fund, the guys who started off saying one sausage per day causes bowel cancer also added at the end, “regular exercise, healthy eating and a positive attitude are generally known to stave off all forms of cancer.” Positive attitude?! Who funds these studies?!

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  • Anonymous

    Don’t write what ever comes to ur head…..u dumb head

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05181138267366966636 Sasha Gusain

    Hello ‘Anonymous.’ Glad you could join us.

  • Anonymous

    The 20% increased risk would be a relative risk – ie. your risk is increased by 20% compared with non-sausage eaters. SO if non-sausage eaters have a 1% risk of bowel cancer – sausage eaters have a 1.2% increase.

  • gk

    Although very late but I agree a bit with first post minus the extreme words…

    I think most problems caused by consumption of sausages is due to pathetic fillers and unhealthy binders used with chicken. If one’ll buy read to cook sausages from markets then one realizes that they are ‘cold-cut’, which actually is not so great product. (that includes salamis, fingers etc.)

  • Tantort88

    I don’t know about a positive mental attitude keeping cancer away by itself but stress management defintiely helps keep you healthy by avoiding oxidative damage at a cellular level, and thereby reducing an inflammatory state in the body– and I mean chronic inflammation, not the kind that is healthy when responding to an injury. So PMA is definitely not a bunch of BS & active stress management is much needed today!